We hear and read about how we should realize our worth all the time. We think we get it, and we do until someone charms us. The attention feels good, especially if we haven’t had that kind of attention in a while.
We can find out the person is broken in some way – maybe he drinks or smokes weed too much, maybe he’s on parole, maybe he’s not paying his rent or doesn’t have a good job or a car. We may have a quick realization that this guy’s not ready for a relationship, but we will decide we like his personality so much that we override our common sense and overlook red flags. We think giving him a chance may lead to change.
Please don’t do this. I know you probably will anyway and you’ll probably have to learn the hard way, like I did, but it’s worth a shot.
Before, I did not realize how a broken man can negatively affect your life. I thought as long as I had my life together I could see whoever I wanted and let their life be their’s and my life be mine. But a broken man can disrespect you, lie to you and/or be abusive. They simply are not ready for a relationship. The problems that arise from this situation will negatively affect your life. Much of the time you’ll be stressed and overthinking the relationship to the point you don’t have energy to take care of and enjoy your life. The more time goes on the worse it gets.
If they haven’t already healed on their own, they aren’t going to heal with you coddling them. Basically, you are enabling them to not change when you agree to be with them when they are broken.
If we are entertaining a broken man, it probably means we are broken in some way. Maybe it’s time to take a break and focus on our life, making it the best it can be. If we are so focused on getting a man, it can mean we are neglecting things that could be bringing us fulfillment. When we are happy and fulfilled is when we will ATTRACT a fulfilling relationship (rather than chasing down something that will break us more).
I could go on and on about this subject but will save some for later. I’ve recently seen a friend that is settling. They’ve already moved in together when just 3 weeks ago I saw her with another guy. She was giving that other guy a ride in her car because he didn’t have one. There’s no judgment here, but it’s so easy for me to see what’s going on and a knowing how it’s going to end. The reason I know is because I’ve been through it.
I just want to inspire more single women to be all that they can be and live a happy life. Chasing men is not happiness. Developing and enjoying your life is. It’s fulfilling to grow your life and do things you want to do. Eventually we will get a partner that’s a match to that. When we have fixed ourselves, we will attract healed and healthy minded men.
~ Monica
Related Articles:
- For Singles Struggling With Being Alone.
- Your Energy Is Precious; Spend It Wisely
- To Create a Fulfilling Life, Be Aware of Where Your Focus Is.
- Mother-Daughter Time – Gardening and Inspiration to Live Life to the Fullest
- When Life Feels Rumpled
- Experience Joy by Being in the Now
- Love Yourself First
- Self-Love: What Is it, and How Can I Get It?
- How to Attract a Joyful Life
- Letting Things Be
Ideas and Advice for How To Live a Joyful and Empowered Life. 
I love your writings so much and the way you look at things. Another very uplifting post. I couldn’t have agree with you more. We must heal ourselves first and then we can give a chance to a man who can develop a healthy relationship with us. Two strong, healed and kind individuals can create a bond which is so meaningful and blessed.
Have a wonderful day Monica ♥️
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank-you so much Vihani. I feel the same about your writing. I resonate with everything I’ve read of yours. Hoping to get more time to read more soon. You have a wonderful day too!!
LikeLike
I admire you ❤
LikeLike
Thank-you Amber – I admire you too. It’s not easy raising a little one and working full time. And you know there’s many reasons I love you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great post. It’s so important to know that you have worth, and to be comfortable with yourself.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I appreciate your visit and comment! 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you for the great perspective. In this couples world, it can be difficult to forget that as a single woman. Your transparency is fantastic, and I will be taking this blog to heart.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank-you Racheal. I’m so glad to hear you like the perspective and I hope it helps you. Thank-you for visiting and commenting. I appreciate it very much 🙂 ❤
LikeLike
I am so thankful for this post Monica! As single women, we can cave to the anxiety and fear that no one will ever love us again. That is not true, we are just having this space to prepare ourselves for the right guy. We need to keep growing and choose men who are worthy of our hard work and love. We have a lot of love to give, and can practice giving it to ourselves for a little while as we grow and get more confidence in our worth. We got this!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, we do have this!! I’ve learned the hard lessons of settling and and have found a content peaceful life on my own. That is the way it will be until I meet someone that will add to my life, rather than take away. Thank-you so much for visiting and commenting – I appreciate it very much!
LikeLiked by 1 person