He was so good to me when we were together.
But eventually, he’d ghost me and I’d break up with him.
During the break-up I was confused how he could seem like he loved me so much then turn around and ghost me a few days later.
Eventually he’d come back and we’d do it all over again.
Why did I go back? Because he was very convincing and I believed he loved me so thought he’d stop ghosting me.
But he’s an alcoholic and his first love will always be alcohol.
When he goes out and drinks all that matters is him and alcohol.
To the point that he didn’t have the desire to show up and keep trust in our relationship.
For most of us, dating an alcoholic is a deal-breaker. But when you first meet one, you don’t know they are and they can be very charming and convincing to get your company in the moment making you feel loved like you never have been.
They can be deceiving about their alcoholism because they don’t want you to know.
An alcoholic may have a lot of bar buddies, but they don’t have a lot of meaningful relationships because they hurt everyone they love with their deceit and drunken actions.
So when an alcoholic finds you and likes you, he may latch on and bring out his charm and say anything to keep you in his life because he’s felt very empty and/or lonely.
I knew better than to date an alcoholic but this one convinced me he loved me before I even knew he was an alcoholic.
He knew exactly what to say and do to hook me and didn’t start ghosting me until 4 months later when it became a regular thing.
I was completely confused why someone who seemed to love me so much would say he’d be over in an hour, then completely disappear, not answering texts or phone calls.
Then come back and repeat the process in a week or a month.
After so many episodes I began to understand. An alcoholic’s first love is alcohol and I will always be second, never getting the love, support and respect I deserve.
Somehow, knowing that takes the sting away. I believe there is a wonderful person underneath the alcohol but an addiction slowly takes over your life and consumes you. I saw this happening to him and hurt for him.
Yes, he does have a choice to stop, but that probably feels impossible to him.
He knows how alcohol is messing up his life but yet he can’t stop. How miserable would that be?
It’s sad when you have to leave, but it’s the only option if they aren’t seeking help.
It never helps to stay with an alcoholic and try to help them unless they are trying to help themselves.
You won’t change their mind by being by their side. The best thing you can do is leave and live life for yourself.