We need to think of ourselves as queens when we date. Would a queen settle for being an option? Nope. Would a queen compete? Nope. Why should we do it?
If a man brags to you that he has options, let him be free to all his options. It would be rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful if he were to do that and guess how he’d treat you later. Everyone should have options in the beginning, but to openly brag about it would show lack of character.
Maybe a man will brag about his options months into seeing each other. Or maybe you stop getting calls to see each other on Friday and/or Saturday night, which hints that you are an option. Again, let him be free to his options. Don’t compete and try to prove you are the best. Don’t call him to ask where he’s at.
That will only set you up to look desperate and needy which will turn him off.
The best thing to do if you are treated as an option is to go enjoy your own options, focus on your life and tell yourself this man may not be what you are looking for. Knock off some of his brownie points for bad behavior. If you see him again, don’t grill him about where he was – just observe his behavior and see if it continues.
I’ve been in both situations, where the guy called less and less to get together and where another guy bragged about his options months into seeing him and him leading me to believe he was only seeing me. In both instances I set them free to their options. No, it was not easy. But I did walk away with dignity and self respect. I know that if I had started to compete to win him over, I would have started a vicious cycle that I didn’t want to be in. I’d rather leave with my head held high and find someone else that truly appreciates me.
I feel that if a man is really into you, he won’t do anything to jeopardize losing you, like brag about other options or miss a date with you. That doesn’t mean we should have expectations on when and how much they date us, but if a pattern is broken with no good reason behind it after you’ve been seeing each other for a while, he may have other options. Yes, both of you are allowed to have other options if you’re not in a committed relationship. I’m just saying that if he’s enjoying his other options, you should be too. It’s a much better way to go about it rather than competing. There’s no reason to tell him about your other options – it’s simply to keep your options open since this one may not be right.
A really good book that I’d like to refer is ‘Why Men Love Bitches – From Doormat to Dreamgirl’ by Sherry Argov. It really isn’t about teaching us to be a bitch, but more about having self respect and being strong and why men are attracted to that. The entire book really resonated with me and changed the way that I date years ago.
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This article was written by Monica Resinger who co-owns the website Bubble Bath Self Empowerment. Please visit the site for ideas and advice for how to life a joyful and empowered life: https://bubblebathselfempowerment.com/