Advice, Dating and Relationships

How Speaking Your Truth When You Are Mistreated Can Help You

What is speaking your truth?

It is speaking how you truly feel.

It’s not always necessary, but sometimes it is.  In some situations, it can be better to leave things unsaid.  We may disagree about something somebody says or does but it’s just a difference in opinion and speaking our truth may cause hard feelings so it may be in our best interest to not speak our truth.  But if it has to do with a boundary being crossed or being mistreated, it can be good to speak your truth.  Discernment needs to be used in every situation.  If you are being mistreated by a violent person, for example, use discernment since the person may act out and hurt you.

I recently had a situation where I used discernment before speaking my truth.  I was angry with this person so I took a bit of time to calm down before responding with my truth so it wasn’t just a bunch of angry hurtful words.  I collected myself, really thought about what my truth was and responded.  I knew this person wouldn’t like my truth but this was a matter of self-respect.  I could have chosen to just blow him off and never speak to him again and that would have solved it too.  But something inside me pushed me to speak my truth.  For a while I wondered if it was my ego, but I didn’t think too far into it and just felt pushed to do it so I did.  He didn’t reply (it was via Messenger) and I was okay with that.

I felt great after I did it.  Like I set someone straight and let them know I wasn’t going to put up with any more shenanigans.  He had disrespected me, I stood up for myself with a boundary and then he disappeared, which is a good thing.  The actual act took place 2 weeks before I spoke my truth.  When it happened, I left with only a few words.  He contacted me 2 weeks later.  During that 2 weeks, I felt angry and hurt by what he did and frustrated with myself for not saying more.  But at the time I was emotional and knew anything I said would have been a mess and probably would have led to a screaming match.

After I spoke my truth in response to his Messenger message, most of the anger, hurt and frustration dissipated.

I had respected myself and put up a boundary and I felt good about it, like I was my own hero.  It cleared my pent up emotions and the next day I felt free of it.  It appears I got rid of someone that was not treating me right but I did give him a chance to stay according to my boundary.  I guess he didn’t like it, but that just helps me know that he is someone that is not good for me which is making it even easier to get over him not being in my life.

Often times, we want everyone to have a good opinion of us so we just go along.  We don’t want to lose this person, or upset that person.  But if we go along with things that hurt us, we damage ourselves with resentful emotions and by keeping damaging people in our lives.  We can speak our truth and give people the choice to stay in our lives by giving them the opportunity to treat us right and by setting a boundary.  Some may not know they are harming us and correct themselves.  Others will drop off.  Either way, we will be doing good for ourselves.  We are just as worthy of love and compassion as they are and we need to treat ourselves that way.

~ Monica

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Art by Monica

Each image is available on totes, pillows, blankets, mugs, phone cases, canvas and more!




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