Advice, Dating and Relationships, Self Care, Self Improvement, Uncategorized

Your Well Being ALWAYS Comes First

In healthy, loving relationships there is mutual care, support, consideration and love. This seems obvious, but sometimes people were raised in dysfunction and have no clue what a healthy relationship is. For most of my life, I’ve been in this club and only beginning to painfully figure it all out within the past couple of years.

If there is anyone in our life that asks for favors, help and support but does not consider what these requests do to us and what our situation is, we have every right to say no and not feel guilt. This, I know, is easier said than done especially if we have empathy, have been raised in dysfunction and society says we should always help. The message should be that we should always help when we can and as long as it doesn’t take away from our well being.

Unfortunately, it seems a lot of the time it is the ones closest to us that ask us to give up our well being for their needs, never considering what their requests will do to us because they feel their needs are more important, or it is just a family dynamic. “I gave birth to you so you owe me your life”. No. We cannot help who we are family with – we had no choice in that matter, so it is not our responsibility to be sure all their needs are met. The only time we are responsible to meeting another’s needs is when we bring a baby into the world. The rest of the time, each of us is only responsible for our own needs. Yes, we should help others if we are in a position to do so and the people we help care about our well being.

Sometimes there can even be abuse in these situations, to the point where we are afraid to say no because we will be yelled at, guilted, demeaned, called names or even hit. We are unable to communicate our needs to these people because it turns into them abusing and trying to convince us we are wrong. This is not a healthy loving relationship. It is abusive.

There comes a time when we have to give ourselves love, respect, dignity, safety, freedom and happiness by not doing what we’ve always done for people that take advantage of it or abuse us, and we have to do that without guilt, regardless of how bad their situation is.

If we don’t, we allow them to make us a victim and we give away our power. One reason we are here is to help others, but how can we help others if we let someone take away our well being? If we are not well, we can’t help anyone. Empathy is a gift, but in these situations we have to work at having less empathy and detaching. This is an extremely difficult thing to do, but if we don’t do it, selfish, sometimes narcissistic manipulative ones will take us down.

If your needs are not considered or are not heard when you try to tell them, or you’re afraid to tell them because of the abuse that will happen, then this is a one-sided relationship and possibly abusive. We have to learn to be strong for ourselves.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you relate? Has this happened to you and if so, how did you deal with it? Any and all comments welcome!

Hope all is well with everyone.

~ Monica

Here are a few of the products available with my art printed on them (by clicking an item you like, it will take you to the page where it’s available). They’d make great gifts to yourself or someone you love and would help support my dream of becoming a full-time writer and artist. Any purchase would be SO appreciated, but if you don’t want to or can’t, that’s totally fine. Just stopping by and reading my blog is a huge support so please do not feel obligated.

Bunny Painting Tote Bag featuring the painting Bunny by Monica Resinger
Bunny in Flowers Tote
Dutch Bunny Daisies Acrylic Painting Black White Spring Easter Rabbit Impressionism Coffee Mug featuring the painting Dutch Bunny With Daisies by Monica Resinger
Dutch Bunny Coffee Mug
Bunny Greeting Card
Bunny Greeting Card
Chickadee Painting Tote Bag featuring the painting Chickadee by Monica Resinger
Chickadee Tote
Pig Painting Weekender Tote Bag featuring the painting Playful Pig by Monica Resinger
Playful Pig Weekender Tote
Pompon Dahlias Throw Pillow featuring the painting Pompon Dahlias by Monica Resinger
Dahlia Throw Pillow
68 Dodge Charger Coffee Mug featuring the painting 68 Dodge Charger by Monica Resinger
68 Charger Coffee Mug
Chickadee Painting Tote Bag featuring the painting Chickadee by Monica Resinger
Chickadee Tote
Pig Painting Coffee Mug featuring the painting Playful Pig by Monica Resinger
Bunny Painting Tote Bag featuring the painting Bunny by Monica Resinger
Bunny in Flowers Tote
Neighborhood Painting Coffee Mug featuring the painting Neighborhood by Monica Resinger
Clematis Painting Shower Curtain featuring the painting Clematis by Monica Resinger
Clematis Shower Curtain
Neighborhood Painting Weekender Tote Bag featuring the painting Neighborhood by Monica Resinger
Bunny Greeting Card
Bunny Greeting Card
Violet Purple Lavender Eyes Kitty Cat Flower Floral Tabby Grey Canvas Print featuring the painting Violet Eyed Cat by Monica Resinger
Violet Eyed Cat Canvas
Whimsical Tote Bag featuring the painting Whimsical Frog In Moonlight by Monica Resinger
Whimsical Frog Tote
Tea Art Print featuring the painting Whimsical Black Teapot With Pink Flowers by Monica Resinger
Whimsical Black & Pink Teapot Art Print
Dutch Bunny Canvas Print featuring the painting Dutch Bunny At Dusk by Monica Resinger
Dutch Bunny In Sunflowers Canvas
Whimsical Spiral Notebook featuring the painting Whimsical Teapot With Rose Wallpaper by Monica Resinger
Whimsical Teapot Spiral Notebook
Whimsical Throw Pillow featuring the painting Whimsical Bird by Monica Resinger
Whimsical Bird Throw Pillow
Whimsical Throw Pillow featuring the painting Whimsical Floral Owl by Monica Resinger
Whimsical Floral Owl Throw Pillow
White Wolf Impressionism Art Painting Animal Forest Snow Woods Wildflife Spiral Notebook featuring the painting White Wolf Impressionism by Monica Resinger
White Wolf Spiral Notebook
Chickadee Greeting Card
Chickadee Greeting Card
Space Needle Tote Bag featuring the painting Seattle Space Needle Cityscape by Monica Resinger
Space Needle Tote
Dutch Bunny Daisies Acrylic Painting Black White Spring Easter Rabbit Impressionism Throw Pillow featuring the painting Dutch Bunny With Daisies by Monica Resinger
Dutch Bunny Throw Pillow
Tree Frog Tote Bag featuring the painting Tree Frog by Monica Resinger
Tree Frog Tote Bag
Dutch Bunny Spiral Notebook featuring the painting Dutch Bunny At Dusk by Monica Resinger
Dutch Bunny in Sunflowers Spiral Notebook
Lighthouse Art Print featuring the painting Green And White Tropical Lighthouse by Monica Resinger
Tropical Lighthouse Art Print
Dutch Bunny Daisies Acrylic Painting Black White Spring Easter Rabbit Impressionism Canvas Print featuring the painting Dutch Bunny With Daisies by Monica Resinger
Dutch Bunny On Canvas
Pompon Dahlias Spiral Notebook featuring the painting Pompon Dahlias by Monica Resinger
Dahlia Notebook
Whimsical Tote Bag featuring the painting Whimsical Frog In Moonlight by Monica Resinger
Whimsical Frog Tote
Whimsical Throw Pillow featuring the painting Whimsical Floral Owl by Monica Resinger
Whimsical Floral Owl Throw Pillow
Whimsical Coffee Mug featuring the painting Whimsical Donkey With Mountain Landscape by Monica Resinger
Whimsical Donkey Coffee Cup
Dutch Bunny Canvas Print featuring the painting Dutch Bunny At Dusk by Monica Resinger
Dutch Bunny In Sunflowers Canvas
Lighthouse Art Print featuring the painting Whimsical Pink Rose Floral Lighthouse by Monica Resinger
Rose Lighthouse Art Print
White Wolf Impressionism Art Painting Animal Forest Snow Woods Wildflife Art Print featuring the painting White Wolf Impressionism by Monica Resinger
White Wolf Art Print
Whimsical Tote Bag featuring the painting Whimsical Owl by Monica Resinger
Pink Black Owl Tote Bag

Click here to see all of my art that can be printed on canvas, totes, cups, blankets, shower curtains, phone cases, pillows and more. Thank-you!

11 thoughts on “Your Well Being ALWAYS Comes First”

  1. It is very difficult to put boundaries up with people you love, but you’re so right, it’s worth it because we end up more happy and free of abuse!! That’s all that matters. Great article love ❤ p.s. i am your responsibility because im your baby 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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