Dating and Relationships

Lifestyle Incompatibility – Don’t Settle

I have energy today!

For the past few months I have felt like something was zapping my energy on a daily basis. In hindsight, I now know what it was.

I thought I was enjoying time with him. The reality is that I enjoyed feeling like I had a partner and not being by myself. I was filling a void with something that wasn’t healthy and good for me. There really were some things I enjoyed about him, but for the most part, I was settling just so I could feel like I wasn’t alone in this world. Settling for a lot of things I am not compatible with. Sounds crazy, I know, but there were a lot of things I liked. He gave me a lot of attention, always treated me well and we got along great.

It was our lifestyles that were incompatible. I’m more of a settled down type, while he isn’t. He enjoys people, drinking, staying out late, bars, women. While he showed me a lot of care and attention, I never felt stable and secure with him. I was always trying to adjust myself, but in the end realized that I’m just not meant to be with someone that lives like that. I knew it all along but didn’t want to give up the good parts. It resulted in a toxic relationship that took away all my mental energy.

Now I know that peace, tranquility and health are much more important. After 5 months of trying to make things work, I walked away and now feel the difference. It’s only been 4 days since I walked away. The prior 3 days I was still feeling drained, but that is because I’ve been healing and sorting through it all.

Right before I met him I was feeling content with life. I had a few struggles like we all do, but I felt I had finally accomplished what I had wanted 4 1/2 years prior. At that point in life, I was so focused on finding a partner, that I had exhausted myself. I had been on a dating site for about 3 years and dated a lot. I found myself consumed with thoughts of the current men I was dating, where I stood with them, frustration with things never working and the rest of my life being a mess. This is when I decided to quit dating sites and focus on my life.

It was like a dating sabbatical, but I was still open to dating. It turned out that I ended up dating maybe 4-5 men per year. I saw those dates as getting out for a good time, rather than trying to find my next partner. I stayed focused on making my life good and I finally reached a place of contentment. I got used to being on my own and enjoyed my single life. I could do anything I wanted at anytime. I didn’t have to worry about how I looked all the time. I ate what I wanted and watched what I wanted. If a man came into the picture, I just enjoyed him while he was around.

Time to get back to that and take care of myself.

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Whimsical Art Print featuring the painting Purple Kitty With Blue Stripes In Moonlight by Monica Resinger
Moonlight Kitty Art Print
Sugar Skull Canvas Print featuring the painting Buried Sugar Skull In Desert by Monica Resinger
Buried Sugar Skull Canvas
Dutch Bunny Daisies Acrylic Painting Black White Spring Easter Rabbit Impressionism Coffee Mug featuring the painting Dutch Bunny With Daisies by Monica Resinger
Dutch Bunny Coffee Mug

For more of my art, click here: Monica’s Art


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