In your relationship, do you feel confused, exhausted, anxious, unbalanced, used, drained, unstable and stressed sometimes or most of the time?
Do you overthink or do things you don’t want all to help the relationship work?
Does your partner show love, consideration and affection sometimes, but most of the time their actions show they are only about their needs and they don’t care about yours?
When a relationship is not equally invested in, it creates imbalance.
Many times the partner that is more invested will pick up the slack in an effort to help the relationship work.
This partner is continuously hoping to bring back more of the times when the relationship felt loving and mutual.
Sometimes this partner doesn’t even realize they fell into doing this.
Until they reach a point of extreme exhaustion, depression or a health issue.
This person realizes they have been putting most of their energy into trying to make this relationship work and they don’t even know who they are, what their goals are or what they like to do anymore.
They realize the relationship is one-sided for whatever reason – sometimes due to an addiction, sometimes due to a personality disorder, or simply because the relationship fell into a cycle where one is giving more than the other.
Hopefully the person will become aware of the cycle at a point where communication can happen and things can be remedied.
But sometimes the person should examine and reflect on the situation and why it is happening because it may be an issue they need to leave behind because the other person is who they are and they have no plans on changing.
We should always accept who people are, rather than trying to change them, or hoping they’ll change.
If they are an addict or a narcissist for example. Usually these people are not open to communicating and compromising.
The minute the other person speaks up is the minute they get gaslighted (told they are crazy or get the situation turned around on them).
This is when the other person needs to consider leaving the relationship.
It can still be very hard to leave because you love the other person and hope that things will get better.
But by staying in the relationship when they refuse to compromise and blame everything on you, only enables them to continue being selfish and neglecting or mistreating you.
The cycle of confusion, exhaustion, anxiety, overthinking, being unbalanced, feeling used and stressed then continues.
But when a person can leave this cycle and focus on self care, eventually all their passions and goals come back, and when they do, it feels so good.
There’s nothing to drag you down anymore and you can focus on your life and becoming whole and healthy.
There’s peace, health, joy, freedom and love waiting for you if you can leave the roller coaster ride of a toxic relationship.
By staying in a toxic relationship, all your energy will be used either trying to fix it, or being upset that you are always picking up the slack and never considered by the other person.
There’s no room for personal growth because toxic relationships suck the life out of you.
It may feel impossible to let this person go, especially if you’ve been repeating a pattern of trying to fix things for a long time.
You may have a fantasy about who this person is.
You may feel this person is your only answer to happiness.
This thinking is so wrong and I invite you to really examine what’s going on.
When you see it, write it down and work on changing your perspective to what is REALLY going on.
Don’t base it on when you first met them and they did some great thing to impress you.
Base it on how they’ve been treating you all along.
There’s always going to be some good times in every relationship, and good things about every person.
But we can’t stay with someone because once in a while they do something nice but the rest of the time it’s all about them.
How do you feel around this person? Does this person support and respect you, or do they only think about themselves?
Be very truthful with yourself about what is actually going on and work at accepting that.
Being with a person that does not care about you or your feelings and only cares about theirs is life-draining.
Why would we devote our lives to somebody like this and give up everything that brings us happiness?
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