I’ve read numerous dating posts about being proactive in finding your next partner.
Get out there and date – it’s all about the numbers! This is the main advice I hear or read.
I followed this for a number of years and I found that it kept me focused on that only and the rest of my life was on autopilot.
I was making it the most important thing in my life, but not focusing on the rest of my life.
I was sucked into always figuring some guy out and if we were a match.
I was waiting to find my partner before I got on to everything else I wanted, and I was slowly forgetting all those other things I wanted. It was not my intention to do this, but being proactive in finding a partner takes a lot of energy and can slowly consume you without noticing.
I am completely open to a partner coming into my life but I will not search for it anymore. I now focus on living a fulfilling life – my dreams and my goals.
In my opinion, it’s the most healthy way to the next relationship, if there is going to be one. If not, that’s totally fine because I’ll be content with or without someone.
Here are reasons I think this is a healthier approach:
- When an option comes along, we will not be trying to make them into our partner. They will just be a nice addition to our already fulfilling life. This takes pressure off of everything and allows the relationship to blossom.
- When we have a fulfilling life, it’s impressive to people. If you’ve dated a lot, I’m sure you’ve dated people that have nothing going on. It’s a turn off, even if they are physically attractive.
- When we have a fulfilling life, we are happy. We glow. We smile. We have something to talk about. We’re excited about things happening in our lives. That’s attractive.
- We attract what we are. If we are happy and fulfilled, we will attract the same. If we are following our dreams and in a positive state of mind, we’ll be more likely to run into someone that’s like-minded. Two self-fulfilled happy people is the recipe to a happy healthy relationship.
The most beautiful thing about this is that if you are living a fulfilling life, it won’t matter if you find a partner or not. You’ll be happy and content with or without a partner.