I’ve read numerous dating posts about being proactive in finding your next partner.
Get out there and date – it’s all about the numbers! This is the main advice I hear or read.
I followed this for a number of years and I found that it kept me focused on that only and the rest of my life was on autopilot.
I was making it the most important thing in my life, but not focusing on the rest of my life.
I was sucked into always figuring some guy out and if we were a match.
I was waiting to find my partner before I got on to everything else I wanted, and I was slowly forgetting all those other things I wanted. It was not my intention to do this, but being proactive in finding a partner takes a lot of energy and can slowly consume you without noticing.
I am completely open to a partner coming into my life but I will not search for it anymore. I now focus on living a fulfilling life – my dreams and my goals.
In my opinion, it’s the most healthy way to the next relationship, if there is going to be one. If not, that’s totally fine because I’ll be content with or without someone.
Here are reasons I think this is a healthier approach:
- When an option comes along, we will not be trying to make them into our partner. They will just be a nice addition to our already fulfilling life. This takes pressure off of everything and allows the relationship to blossom.
- When we have a fulfilling life, it’s impressive to people. If you’ve dated a lot, I’m sure you’ve dated people that have nothing going on. It’s a turn off, even if they are physically attractive.
- When we have a fulfilling life, we are happy. We glow. We smile. We have something to talk about. We’re excited about things happening in our lives. That’s attractive.
- We attract what we are. If we are happy and fulfilled, we will attract the same. If we are following our dreams and in a positive state of mind, we’ll be more likely to run into someone that’s like-minded. Two self-fulfilled happy people is the recipe to a happy healthy relationship.
The most beautiful thing about this is that if you are living a fulfilling life, it won’t matter if you find a partner or not. You’ll be happy and content with or without a partner.
~ Monica
Lots of wisdom in this post!!!!
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Thank-you! 🙂
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Excellent post. I agree with you.
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It absolutely is a healthier approach 🙂
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Impressive post, Monica. Particularly as it carried me from initial skepticism to ultimate – and enthusiastic – agreement,
First, you bloom, celebrating happiness, and soon the entire meadow is ablaze with color.
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Who knows what the answer is for singles finding their next person. I’m sure it’s different for everyone. But this is where I’m at after my experiences of dating – but we all know that my picker is broken (but hopefully in the process of being repaired)! This could be just me isolating myself because I don’t trust my picker. Later on I might see how I should have done something different. Right now it feels right for me. Hopefully people know to only take what works for them 🙂
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Hello!!! You’re my 250th follower!!! 1/4 of the way to 1000 followers!!! It is a pleasure to meet you and your wonderful blog!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Pleasure to meet you too!! I enjoy your blog and can’t wait to read more of it!!
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❤ ❤ ❤
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I didn’t date at all for 21 years of my life. Had I not been single when I met my now husband, I wouldn’t have met him in the first place. I did date a few “bad matches” when I first started dating but it was short lived. I moved on quickly if someone wasn’t right for me. Don’t settle for the wrong person. Ever. 😇
Also, listen to your intuition. Deep down, we know whether or not they are a match. Yes, live your BEST LIFE instead of chasing relationships. Being single allows you to figure out who you are, and know what you truly want. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single.
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Seems my entire romantic life has been a huge lesson in learning to listen and trust my intuition and stop over-riding it because I think I see something good in the person. Each and every time I’ve done that, it has lead to heartbreak. I think and hope I’ve got it now 😉 Time will tell, but for now I’m taking a break and focusing on myself.
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I really like this. Waiting for that special someone can be so consuming that you forget the other things in life that really matter. You ruin what could have been good friendships because of the plaguing question in your mind about whether or not this new person in your life could be “the one”. Very exhausting! It would be so much better if we just let things flow as they should.
Fantastic post!
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Thank-you! 🙂 It only took me about 10 years to learn this, lol! I agree with everything you say. I appreciate your comments and thank-you for reading!
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You’re welcome ☺. Thank you too for sharing your wisdom.
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